


Make it Work

by Lorycake



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Wonhyuk endgame, wonhyuk deserves love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-05-31 12:44:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19426246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lorycake/pseuds/Lorycake
Summary: The gears had stopped working in Wonho's life. He believed that only one person could make him re-operate properly.But maybe all he needed was a sweet drink and wait for daybreak





	Make it Work

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, what's up?  
> Well, that's my first time posting here. This is a translation of one of my works. English is not my native language so you'll probably find some mistakes, but I tried my best. Please be kind with my heart   
> Hope you like it  
> Enjoy

ONE

I can still see you in the distance.  
Passing by the same place on the way home, you also make your path just like on all other days and I never stop observing. The nights are still too long now that you're not in our bed and I cry with my face stuck to the place that should be yours. Which is still yours.  
I force myself to believe you're confused, because I can't be happy without you. I can't. It's impossible to live a good life if you’re not here, Hyungwon. So I repeat to myself that you’ll realize how much this is wrong. How the two of us separated is absurd and then, you'll come back to me.  
And I will bury all the pride that exists in me to receive you without hesitation.  
You made me promises. Chae, you said you loved me and that you’d stay with me forever. You said the winds were blowing in our favor, but the winds are now taking you far away and you're breaking the oaths you made me.  
Were those words fake?  
I don't want to cry now, not here. Not under the traffic light, in the middle of the avenue, after leaving the coffee shop with the iced Americano that you like so much. The taste reminds me of you and your taste.  
And as I watch you walk down the street, distracted and walk away without even noticing me, another voice resounds.  
“Aren’t you going to cross?” the boy next to me says.  
I don't know him and I have no idea why he cared to tell me something so trivial, but I swallow the knot in my throat and thank him. He crosses the street with me and when we're on the other side he stops and calls me.  
"You should choose Caramel's Frappuccino," he says with a friendly smile. "I think you need something sweet."  
He doesn’t wait for an answer. Just turn around and walk away and, confused, I follow my way to the home that now, is without you.

TWO

When does something stop working?  
It's still winter and I'm on the corner table in the same old coffee shop trying to figure out how something just doesn't work anymore. Something breaks or falls apart and I still want to know what has broken or dislocated between us, Hyungwon.  
I want to understand where things went wrong and try to fix it, because it doesn’t make sense for me to throw it all away just because of a small defect.  
Like that wristwatch on my arm, stopped. I just need to change the battery, that's what Hyunwoo said and it's such a simple solution.  
Why don't you let me change our batteries too, Chae? I can fix it all. I can try to save what we had.  
"Cappuccino Chocolate," a cheerful voice says behind me and puts the drink in front of me, beside the empty glass of what had once been an americano.  
"I didn’t ... I didn’t ask for that." I turn my head toward the waiter to explain.  
But I recognize him and his gentle smile as he offered me a sweet drink days earlier. Just like he does now.  
“It's for your date.”  
"I don’t have a date.”  
“You have one with me." He smiled again, taking off his apron. "My shift is over.”  
I move on the defective watch on my wrist and don’t know what to answer. He still smiles and I smile back, lowering my eyes, accepting the drink.  
"May I know your name?"  
"Minhyuk." He reaches out and I reciprocate.  
“Hoseok” I introduce myself. “But you can call me only Wonho.”  
He laughs, as if he was about to say something, but doesn't. Instead, his hoarse voice monopolizes me for the next few hours, but you're still here, deep in my mind.

THREE

I order the sweet drink this time and Minhyuk serves me with the same broad smile, like every day.  
I reciprocate now, after two long weeks and he seems happy. I almost couldn’t remember the sound of my own laughter and my feelings about my amusement are different. I'm relieved to be able to do this, but guilty for smiling even though you’re not here, Chae.  
You told me when we were fifteen, when we began our relationship, that love was something eternal for you. Made me statements that didn’t do to anyone else. It gave me hope of being the man I wanted. The man who would protect you and form a family with you.  
But even that, even us, was a fail. One more of the many that I have had in the course of my life. You know, Hyungwon. You know how much I try to be good and how much I fight to make things work. You know how much I fought for us, but you're gone. And I don’t even get messages from you anymore.  
While I take the chocolate on the cappuccino in my mouth, I look at Minhyuk still completing his shift, taking orders back and forth. He asked me about my sad expressions and I told him. I feel that I was too needy of someone to hear me as you did, and although it’s a different feeling, he listens well when he is not talking too much.  
"You must be exhausted," he said, "it should not be so tiring to make a relationship work."  
And I could only feel sad. I was exhausted, but I could not find the broken piece to fix us.

FOUR

The exhibition is beautiful.  
I see this painting in shades of red and lose myself in the colors and the feelings that it tries to show. Minhyuk is concentrating by my side, seeming to look exactly like me, but I don’t know what he's thinking.  
"It looks like love" he whispers.  
"Just because it’s red?"  
"And because it's a mess” he gives me a big smile.  
"Love is not a mess.”  
"But makes it inside us," he looks into my eyes. "It's a pretty mess, don’t you see? You can’t see where the lines start and end, but it's intense and it's ... Free.”  
I look at the painting again. Turn my head to the side, noticing that he is right about the details he noticed.  
"You said you love someone, didn’t you?" he says softly. "Couldn’t you recognize the feeling at the moment you looked there?"  
I don’t answer. What I felt and recognized as love was intense, for sure, but I wouldn’t consider it a mess. It was very clear in my head, actually. I liked Hyungwon since high school and it took him a long time to notice and reciprocate me. We started dating and we had our problems in the middle of the road. We broke up a few times, but made up soon because we didn’t want to be apart. We got engaged after six years together and after six months with the engagement sealed, things started to get weird. Just after two years with the new status, he told me how much everything between us no longer worked.  
"We don’t even know each other anymore, Hoseok," your voice choked out, but you held yourself so you didn’t cry. "We’ve changed too much, grown and become too different. We don’t talk anymore, and don’t even share our lives with each other. And I know ... I know you expect things from me that I can’t give you. I've tried so much, but I can’t."  
That was a mess to me. The idea of getting married and living forever with you, Hyungwon was the only certainty I had for years and being without you makes no sense. But as I remember your words, I’m sure that love never seemed to be synonymous with freedom for me.

FIVE

"What do you think you're doing?" I ask as Minhyuk steps in front of me, opening my coat and closing it with his back to my chest.  
It's early spring, but it's still cold.  
"You're hot" he says and laughs, and we both walk in a weird way down the street, but Minhyuk does not seem to care.  
"You left late today," I say, worried.  
It’s became a habit for me to accompany him for a part of the journey after he leaves work.  
“It's all right. I don’t have classes tomorrow”  
"When you start selling your art on the beach, let me buy it."  
He laughs even more.  
“Would that be my dream?” he jokes "By the way, what's yours?"  
The question catches me by surprise. The last time I heard something like that, it was from your lips. And I decide to answer what I answered that day.  
“I want to move up in the company where I am and get stabilized…”  
"Oh, no" he stops in the middle of the road and turns to face me; we are paralyzed face to face in the middle of the sidewalk with the sound of the horns beside us “I'm not talking about it, I'm talking about your dreams. Something you always wanted to do, even if it seems impossible”  
I realize that I had never stopped to think about it. I wanted to be independent, but I also wanted to be proud. I tried to be a good student, a good son, a good employee, a good boyfriend, and so all my plans were shaped under the expectations of those around me.  
Minhyuk sees the emptiness in my eyes when I can’t recognize dreams in me and his smile disappears for a second, before returning even brighter. He comes closer and touches my face with his warm hands, since they were hidden by his coat.  
"Don’t worry," he says softly. "Maybe it's fun, you know. Discover a dream.”  
My eyes are focused again, and I sigh, relieved. For some reason, I trust what Minhyuk says.

SIX

I saw you again, Hyungwon.  
You were as handsome as ever, with your arm around the shoulders of someone I don't know. You were smiling like I haven’t seen you do for a long time. Is that what you were talking about when we broke up?  
"You're not happy, Hoseok," at that moment, I thought you were going to cry. "You remind me about it every day, without even noticing. I see how you try to distance yourself sometimes. I notice how disappointed you are, always hoping that I will reach expectations that I won’t be able to attain. And I found out that I don’t want to. You've been the best person for me for the past eight years, but you can’t save me, Wonho. Only I can. And you must save yourself too".  
I wanted to be the person who would save you, Hyungwon. That's all I ever wanted. I wished to be the person I didn’t have around. I wanted to be the present companion that my father never was, and I wanted you to live up to my wishes.  
It was my fault?  
Did I break what we had? Maybe if I had gone over all my wishes to make you happy, we would still be together.  
But you insisted so much on saying it wasn’t my fault.  
"No one is guilty, love. It's only that time has passed for us both."  
And I wanted time to be counted by that broken clock, where the pointers didn’t walk so I didn’t have to lose you. But you were so happy hugged to another body, living a life that I'm not a part of, and I wonder if this pain is because I miss us.  
"It must be," Minhyuk says, as I daydream about it on the coffee shop. "But I don’t think you miss him.”  
"Then what would it be?"  
"You miss what you had. It was a long time and a very long experience”  
"Eight years played out without mercy," I whisper.  
"That's too cowardly of you," I look at him, confused and surprised. "It's been eight years with someone you loved and who loved you back. The fifteen-year-old Hoseok wouldn’t have become the man you are today if you haven’t passed through it”.  
"And what type of man am I today?" I laugh, incredulous.  
"A handsome, dedicated and generous one. You have a baby-sensitive heart and that's hard to find. You are rare, Wonho. You’re selfless. And should keep your path with more fondness in your memory.”  
He smiles again as he sinks his lips into the whipped cream and I watch the tip of his nose get dirty. I have no words to answer, so I don’t.  
But Minhyuk seems to be always giving me something to think about.

SEVEN

"I feel like a teenager," I complain.  
My hands are sweating, but Minhyuk pushes my back through the corridors.  
"You're going to be all right, and we're going to be college mates." His chuckle calms me down, and he keeps dragging me to the elevator.  
"You didn’t have to come." I turn to him as we step into that metal box. "You're going to be late for work."  
"It’s ok," he shakes his head. "I wasn’t going to let my friend, future student of pedagogy come alone”  
"I haven’t done the test yet." I roll my eyes.  
"But will pass." He stamped his foot, as if his tantrum were enough to make me get into college.  
It took many months until I make this decision and now my fingers are numb and my heart is racing. As I think about the future, I see a spark deep in the background. Something that wasn’t here before, warming me from the inside out like a ray of sun.  
It’s a dream.  
A possibility of future where you are not.  
And in Minhyuk's words, no one lives in this dream other than myself because it’s something just mine. Maybe that's why my hands are shaking and Minhyuk feels as he leaves the elevator with me on the seventh floor. He takes me to the correct room and we stop at the door as he straightens the collar of my blouse.  
"Go get them," his encouragement makes me laugh, but he leans over and kisses my cheek.  
Too close to my mouth. I think of retreating, but I don’t, and he smiles even more.  
And I no longer know why my body is hot, but I can’t think about it now. I have a test to do.

EIGHT

It was Minhyuk who decided to post in my social medias that I had passed in the entrance exam.  
I was cuddled on the couch in my living room and Lee switched channels faster than I could see what was going on in each one. I don’t know when he got into the habit of coming here, but it had happened.  
I hoped it would continue because when I start my studies and try to reconcile with work, we will have less time together.  
My phone beeps and I open the app, noticing a comment from you in my post. You congratulate me on my new phase and I feel a sad smile forming on my face. I don’t quite understand what kind of feeling I have now, as long as I see your good wishes for me, after so many months - and we'll count it in years soon - without us talking. On the one hand, I wanted you to be here to see this, just as you have seen so many other of my achievements over the years, but I wonder if this achievement in particular would have been reached if you hadn't gone.  
Would you have insisted on asking me about my dreams? Would you have asked me about my wishes? Would you really make me want to find out myself?  
It’s not your fault either, and the memories hurts less. I can remember precious moments and the desire to cry can be arrested more easily. You couldn’t save me, too, could you? You’re busy saving yourself, discovering yourself and your own dreams.  
You're working well and I'm trying to work, too. Maybe you have found the new battery of your broken watch ...  
"I'll make you a sweet drink," Minhyuk stands up. "It's going to be the chocolate cappuccino of victory," he says, jumping up to my kitchen.  
Maybe I found mine, too.

NINE

It's been a long time since I've touched your belongings that have not been taken away.  
There are still letters and gifts inside boxes and I cried for months reading and rereading each one of them as I remember the years we spent together. I hid his memories to no longer hurt me because I was sure you had lied to me.  
Your promises have been broken, I thought.  
But now, before the dust on the leaves and the velvet, I can remember every day without the sharp pain reaching my chest. I remember your smiles every time you said you love me and I can remember with affection every time you've proved me.  
You were there, really. And even if things have strangely stopped working, it doesn’t mean that they never worked.  
The hard part was to see a future with you and to feel it vanish before your eyes. There was only pitch, I was lost and I thought only you could find me, but I was wrong.  
On this path where you’ve been with me, it took me long to realize that it was me who opened the path. When you followed your own destiny, taking away the light that illuminated everything, I thought it had come to an end, but it was not quite like that. I just needed to light up my own light and move on until sunrise.  
And I can feel it, Wonnie. The sun's rays are already seen in the distance and the cold is passing.  
It's almost dawn.

TEN

I’ve changed my job.  
My therapist was happy when I told him, just like Minhyuk. We have more time together on the weekends, but he didn’t stop sending me messages. It's Saturday and he's back in my kitchen.  
"Caramelo Macchiato," he hummed.  
Through the window, I see the drops falling thanks to the rainy season, but a smile appears in my face. My house is a little mess because Minhyuk is a mess and he's barely out of here, but I don’t feel bothered. His shoes are at the entrance door. My new work materials are on the table and I feel warm.  
It's been years now. I know you've found your way and I know you're happy. I've seen you more often than I can count and I don’t feel pain anymore. It is more that feeling of remembering with affection of a precious time. You taught me so much and I know I taught you too.  
Minhyuk arrives with the drink, extends to me and touches his glass in mine, in a toast. His red hair lights up in the faint light coming from the window and his lip gets dirty with chantilli. Then I laugh and he looks at me confused, but it is no longer by my smile. They are frequent now. Your doubt is the reason of my fun, but I have no intention of saying it.  
At that very moment, "he" turns "you". It is for him that I long to tell everything that goes on and, although this desire has been here for a long time, it’s only then that I perceive. I accept. That I embrace what fate has brought me.  
I take courage to do what I have intended for some time and clean your mouth with my own, giving a long soft kiss and you corresponde me without hesitation.  
Your arms are wrapped around my neck when you whisper.  
"Sweet," smiles. "As I imagined”  
I can feel the gears running, because I run. And by fixing my pointers with solar energy the day that dawned for me, we can light up our own paths that we choose to tread together.  
No more promises of "forever".  
But as long as you’re here, being the new focus of my reveries about love, I hope it's intense as the glow that comes from your smile. And the colors of the artwork we saw together in what I can call our first date, now make sense to me.  
I can’t see where the lines start and end but there's the red and there's the mess you're causing inside me. There is the freedom to love myself for real.  
And so I'm free to love you.

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaand that's it  
> Hope you've liked it, thanks for reading. If you wanna drop a comment, I'll be really happy.  
> cupcake kisses for you


End file.
